Fun Is Serious Business
I can only imagine what my childhood self would think if he knew that one day I would write an article on recriminating myself for not having enough fun. At a young age, fun comes effortlessly to us. It’s an expression of our authentic inclinations. It’s how we interact with our peers and the world. As we grow older, we become acutely aware of the realities of life, of the expectations for success and the necessity to make ends meet. As I survey my peers in varying professions and walks of life, I see dwindling levels of fun being replaced by a more onerous sense of obligation.
The responsibilities of adult life seem to drain the joy out of many of us. Soon our appetite for fun becomes dulled. And when we do recognize the impact of the stressors in our life, we often turn to various avenues that deviate from childhood joy. We surf the internet. We watch reality TV. Have a glass of wine or—let’s be honest—two. Okay, maybe three. We scroll the echo chambers of social media, then get stuck on reels of Instagram posts. We numb ourselves to sleep.
I don't mean to paint a picture of hopelessness or insinuate that all our diversions need to be saccharine. There’s nothing wrong with a Netflix binge or a glass of wine. I’m just saying that sometimes we need to retrain ourselves to have the pure variety of fun that comes so naturally in our youth. I’m fortunate to have a ten-year-old master of fun at home. He seems programmed for fun, with every action and maneuver aimed at eliciting joy in himself and others. As I get him through the evening routine of dinner, bath, book, and sleep, however, his jest is more likely to draw my ire than my endorsement.
But my son’s example offers a very real opportunity. His pursuit of fun gives us a chance to reflect on our own levels of joy and laughter. Do we smile enough? Are we finding and embracing opportunities for play? Do we get engrossed while wrenching a car, playing music, shooting baskets or riding a bike, or just making a silly gift for a friend? Many of us evaluate our financial solvency, our weight and BMI, our grades and our work performance. Why not evaluate how we’re doing in the fun category? If we want to live in a way that’s authentic and that maximizes our potential—that enhances our ability to focus and apply ourselves—we need to balance the grind with some actual fun.
Depending on your stage in life, joy and fun are variably prioritized, accepted, and endorsed. I’ve spent most of my academic and professional career with people who take pride in how many hours they put in at the library, lab, or office; how few days they take off or how little vacation they go on. Many of us—disingenuously—castigate ourselves for being so driven, though in actuality we’re humble-bragging about our work ethic. Called workism, this has been the accepted way to get ahead for the last 40 years.
Times are changing, though. I’ve watched expectations shift from working long hours in the office at least five days a week, with unlimited evening and weekend accessibility, to a more remote and tempered work environment. Today, people demand a true balance between their professional and personal lives. As part of this shift, I suggest many of us should focus more on integrating the rejuvenating power of fun into our lives.
This isn’t just selfcare, this is one of the secrets to more success at work, in relationships, and in life. Joy and fun are contagious. Play builds neurons and recharges your brain. Fun makes you more creative and collaborative. One former Fortune 50 CEO I know considers shared play, fun, and joy as vital to personal success and as the single most important tool for building exceptional teams. People who have fun innovate more, collaborate more, and perform better.
My mother always taught me that every day is a celebration. She truly lives her life consistent with this philosophy. We’re so blessed to have the privilege of life and all the goodness it contains. It would be a shame if we don't enjoy it. Hold yourself accountable for joy and fun. Do it just as you do for other facets of your life like exercise, a budget, or a to-do list. This is especially important if fun no longer comes naturally. Rather than detract from your productivity, it will actually charge you up and improve your performance. It will give you an edge. And along the way, it will infuse everything you do with deeper satisfaction.