Make Gratitude a Habit
Life offers an endless array of potential challenges, as well as rewards. We can strive to do so many things and achieve arbitrary levels of success. At times, I’ve struggled to reconcile what I’m able to achieve with all the other things I can’t get done. For the things I do accomplish, I have a tendency to reflect on my own performance relative to others. And invariably, no matter what I pursue, I can always find people who are doing it faster, smarter, and better.
This is a reality of life—no matter who we are, there will be other people who can do things better. Consequently, if we look for it, there’s limitless evidence to support our inadequacy. Even Harvard professors are surrounded by people who publish more than they do, have larger grants, founded more valuable companies, or have authored more books to greater acclaim. Whatever metric you choose, there are others who have exceeded you.
If you’re driven to be the best, what do you do when someone can do it just a bit better? What’s the antidote to this disease of limitless performance expectations?
There’s one powerful solution: Gratitude.
Don’t let the seeming simplicity of this idea belie its power. Gratitude is the acknowledgment that we’re fortunate to possess what we have. It doesn’t require more. It doesn’t bemoan our shortcomings or harp on our relative inadequacies. It doesn’t require meeting standards. Gratitude means saying “thank you” and meaning it. Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you for my family, friends, and colleagues. For a profession I love—or the profession that I will love in the future. Thank you for my health and for the roof over my head. As you immerse yourself in gratitude for all the things in your life, your orientation turns toward what you do have, rather than what you don’t have.
In the past, there was a part of me that feared that gratitude might hold me back. If I’m satisfied, then what will drive me to pursue more? Isn't it that tension between where we are and where we want to be that catalyzes growth? Actually, gratitude is always a wind at your back. Gratitude shows us that we already have plenty and reminds us of how far we’ve come. It puts our challenges in perspective and enables us to see the bigger picture—because, yes, there is a bigger picture.
Gratitude is a practice that should be performed often. It should be made a daily habit. If you use it frequently, you’ll reap the rewards. Amalgamate a gratitude practice with your morning reflection and meditation, if you already do those things, as a way to supercharge the start of your day. Similarly, ending your day by reflecting on the things you are grateful for is a terrific way to relax and transition into being present with your family or friends.
Gratitude helps us realize the things that we often take for granted, the things that are far more valuable than we appreciate in the moment-to-moment busyness of our typical day. Health and fitness are gifts that are more often appreciated when gone. We get accustomed to our cars, homes, luxury goods, or whatever material objects we are fortunate to have. We then set this as a baseline for satisfaction. Rather than realizing that our accounts are already full, we readjust our ledgers to zero and set a new high watermark to evaluate ourselves.
Worse yet, we allow others to set our new watermark. Even if we succeed, our relative achievement might appear to pale in comparison to what others have accomplished. Invariably, when disclosing the completion of a marathon, people begin recounting stories of friends who ran it far faster. But sitting in gratitude for having finished the race, having achieved your personal goals, and having the health and stamina to run a marathon—no matter what the pace—is a much healthier approach.
In the spirit of gratitude, I feel extraordinarily privileged that you’re engaging in this journey of development and learning with me. My highest aspiration is that my thoughts and writings may be of some use to you; that they may help you be a bit happier, healthier, and more successful.
I am grateful for you.