Smile

For a moment I thought about writing an article with a single word, smile, and leave the rest for the reader to interpret. It’s simple yet profound. And it’s generally good advice that we often fail to heed, especially when it matters most.

Smiling has benefits for our personal wellbeing, our relationships, and in our business endeavors. Although we tend to put a lot of emphasis on the words we choose, most of our communication is encapsulated in our body language. UCLA professor Albert Mehrabian famously formulated the 7-38-55 rule. This rule teaches us that 7 percent of meaning is communicated through our words, 38 percent through our tone of voice, and 55 percent through our body language. There’s some debate about the exact ratio and the validity of the study, but the point is that people put a lot of emphasis on reading physical cues when it comes to understanding communication.

I bet you can guess what part of your body leads to the most expressive and expansive set of signals. That's right. Your facial expression, or your “countenance” in formal parlance. Therefore, if you want to send a strong message to others, use your face.

Perhaps the easiest, most universally understood, and among the most powerful positive forms of expression is smiling. It sends a signal straight to your brain that sets off a cascade of all sorts of wonderful neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins that enhance your mood and mindset. This, in turn, serves as a basis to bring the right energy and mindset to your day. There is a proliferation of studies that show that smiling boosts your immune system, lowers your blood pressure, and enhances your stamina. One study published in Neuropsychologia found that smiling activates the brain’s reward system, making you feel happier and more at ease, which can be contagious and foster positive interactions. Moreover, research conducted by Dr. Jeffrey Girard and his colleagues at the University of Pittsburgh focused on how facial expressions, particularly smiles, influence social perceptions. The study, published in the journal Emotion, showed that smiling significantly increases the perceived trustworthiness of individuals. The study suggested that smiles are powerful social signals that can enhance interpersonal interactions by making us appear more approachable and likable.

But you probably don’t need to read a bunch of studies about the value of smiling, since its benefits are so overwhelming. Just try smiling more in situations that you otherwise would not and note the benefits. You’ll likely notice a few things like you better connect with other people, you encourage more open communication, and you’re better able to maintain a calm demeanor.

Smiling is a big part of my professional repertoire. I constantly need to meet many new people, frequently over Zoom. On occasion, these are people who I might otherwise be in conflict with, whether they’re on the other side of a deal or I just can't seem to align with them in an important issue. As soon as I hop on Zoom, I make it a point to smile. Before a word comes out of my mouth, before mutual introductions are made, I flash a big smile. The overwhelming majority of the time, the other person or people on the call smile back, even if they didn’t intend to. It’s that natural—and universal—of a signal. Once we’re all smiling, the conversation naturally shifts toward levity. Rapport is built. We then address whatever matters needed to be discussed, but the mood is friendlier and more collaborative. Try it, you’ll see.

Now, I can't guarantee that this will always work. I can’t promise that you can diffuse any difficult situation with a smile. But it often works. And guess how much a smile costs? The price is right: it’s free.

Children tend to smile, and laugh, far more frequently than adults do. Somehow as we get more mature, we think austerity and reservedness are virtues that demonstrate maturity and temerity. We don't want to be made fun of or mocked, and if we look serious, we think people will treat us more seriously. Perhaps they will. But they won't like us more, be more drawn to us, or treat us more favorably.

I have a feeling we all know smiling is the best policy. It’s good therapy. It’s good for your health. It’s good for your relationships. And it’s free. This simple gesture will help you better connect with people, better hear their ideas and concerns, and build greater trust.