Our Decisions Don’t Matter as Much as We’d Like to Believe

Life provides us with an endless stream of decisions. Some are seemingly trivial: Should I have Cornflakes or Cheerios for breakfast this morning? Others are more impactful: Where should I go to college? What career should I pursue? What city should I live in? I agree that these are all important decisions and deserve careful consideration, yet I would propose that the decisions might be less critical than we initially think.

Sometimes what matters most isn’t the decision we make, but rather how we conduct ourselves after we make the major decision.

I’ve had multiple conversations with teenagers agonizing over which college to choose. The decision is difficult in part because the future is unknowable. And when we make a decision that affects us personally, it is very hard to remain objective and think clearly through to the best solution. In addition, the more important the decision is to us, the more likely we are to be afraid of making the wrong decision. This “outcome apprehension,” as it’s called, can be felt by every high school senior unable to decide which college to attend and every college graduate unable to decide between the risks and rewards of various career options.

Ultimately, however, what we can control are the choices we make once we enroll in one school over another. It’s a similar situation with career choices. As important as they seem, the notion that success awaits behind “Door A” and failure looms behind “Door B” is overly simplistic. What truly matters is less about picking law school over business school, Chicago over Boston, consulting over investment banking, and more about the values we incorporate and the attitude we adopt once we find ourselves in a given environment.

I’ve met people who have put themselves in great positions: they live in fantastic cities, work in stimulating environments, go to outstanding schools, yet consistently report back a seemingly endless list of inadequacies. The people aren’t nice. The pay is lacking. The grading isn’t fair. If only they’d chosen Columbia over Northwestern, New York instead of Chicago, or McKinsey over Bain.

There are also people who seem to always make the right decision. Going to a larger state university offered the luxury of exploring more classes and learning about exciting new fields. It turned out that San Diego offered the most spectacular friend group, or a new job at a marketing firm offered incredible professional growth. How do these folks always get it right?

I believe the actual decision doesn’t make that much of a difference. Instead, it’s what you do after the decision is made that matters most. Can you approach your new situation with an open mind? Are you able to apply your best traits and greatest talents to your new position? Does your attitude remain positive and optimistic? Are you making the most of your new environment? Once you make a decision, dedicate yourself to it. Don’t look back. Don’t question the process. Instead, shift your focus to the present and determine how you can leverage the options you have in front of you.

And although big decisions are, well, big, they are not immutable.

You can transfer schools or go somewhere else for graduate school. It can take some effort to move cities, but people do it all the time. It might be nice to hit your career trajectory on the first try, yet if you’re like me, it may take multiple iterations and a couple of decades. Having the acuity to assess whether things are going in the right direction—and the courage to change course when necessary—is far more important than making the right choice at the outset.

In the end analysis, it may be nearly impossible to tell whether you made the right choice over the long run. Though I did not pursue a protracted career as a physician, my medical training was essential to my ultimate career destination. And although some investments in my early years did not pan out, I learned from them and made better decisions that I may not have otherwise made without these lessons. Everything has a tail effect, often difficult to predict, and quite possibly far more favorable than the short-term ramifications.

Therefore, worry less about being right and more about being nimble. Worry less about the optimal choice and more about maximizing the resulting opportunities. Create victories rather than hoping you choose a victorious path. You will have greater peace of mind and the assurance that success is less at the whim of circumstances and more of a function of your own mindset.